Monday, October 4, 2010

My Breast Cancer Story

What the hell am I doing with breast cancer? It's the first time I've asked the "why me" question, but still haven't said it aloud. I think if I ask it aloud and in that way, then I'll have to let it sink in - and it hasn't. Hell, I can't cry and I've tried. Lord knows I've tried to cry to release some of the pain, fear, and frustration I feel. 

Each time I hear the oncologist say refer to the lump in my right breast as "your breast cancer" I really think that she's talking to and/or about someone else. It just can't be real.  I'm sure most, if not all, breast cancer (cancer patients in general) patients feel this way. I know I'm not alone, but I sure as hell feel alone. My husband is not very emotionally supportive, but he thinks he is. He says he's scared and I believe him, but I also know that he can be more supportive emotionally. He stresses me. In fact my marriage stresses me. I won't turn this into a blog about my marriage though I'm tempted.

I believe that stress, unhappiness, unhealthful eating, lack of exercise, autoimmune disease, and exposure to cancer causing chemicals while growing up all contributed to my present condition.

I'm going to write my cancer diagnosis story, but I didn't feel up to it just now.

3 comments:

  1. You say that you think autoimmune disease contributed to your getting cancer. Please could you write more about this? I had an autoimmune thyroid disease and 10 years later was diagnosed with breast cancer - but have not seen anything else which links the two.

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  2. Hi Gillian,

    Thank you for reading and posting a comment. I appreciate your time.

    I have lupus (SLE). I've had Grave's Disease (thyroid) and probably have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis that is undiagnosed. I was in the process of getting this worked out when I found the lump in my right breast.

    I'll post more of why I believe autoimmune played a role in my developing breast cancer as soon as I can write it a bit more concisely. I'll work on it tonight. Thanks for asking.

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  3. Hi
    This is interesting.I have in recent months come across a few women who had some form of Thyroid condition.

    I also went through Hyperthyroidism was given radioactive iodine, this was approximately 20 years ago. I am now wondering if there is a correlation between these conditions. There was no prior history of Breast Cancer in my family though Thyroid problems have affected us. My sister is now dealing with Grave's Disease, my maternal grandmother had Hashimoto's, I recall as a little girl our having to drive quite a distance for her to be treated, It didn't seem to affect her life as she lived to be a young 94.

    Alli XO

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